Colin Dale

Nick Diamond

Dursley McLinden

Tim Diamond

Susannah York

Lauren Bacardi

Saeed Jaffrey

Mr. Patel

Patricia Hodge

Betty Charlady/Brenda von Falkenberg

Roy Kinnear

Jack Splendide

Jimmy Nail

Boyle

Bill Paterson

Chief Inspector Snape

Michael Robbins

The Fat Man

Peter Eyre

Gott

Nickolas Grace

Himmell

Michael Medwin

The Professor

Forbes Collins

Henry von Falkenberg

José René Ruiz

Johnny Naples (as Rene Ruiz)

Donald Standen

Lawrence

Jim McManus

Hammett

Robert Bathurst

Vicar

Jonathan Linsley

Bouncer

R.J. Bell

Club Owner

Jenny Tomasin

Traffic Warden

Joanna Dickens

Large Woman

Alison Ruffelle

Sales Girl

Auriol Goldingham

Sales Girl

Cristina Avery

Perturbed Mother

Charles Simon

Grandfather

Geraldine Muir

Granddaughter

Gerald Campion

Uncle Holly

Ricky Diamond

Harpoon Salesman

Mammoth

Fat Man's Henchman

John McCoy

Fatman's Henchman

Malcolm Baker

Fatman's Henchman

Nicky Moore

Fatman's Henchman

Vinnie Reed

Fatman's Hnechman

Mark White

Dog Walker