Danny DeVito

Vic De Salvo

Rhea Perlman

Francine Kester

Gerrit Graham

Parker Braithwaite

Bernadette Birkett

Mrs. Sweeney

Barry Corbin

Colonel

Louis Giambalvo

Goody DeSalvo

Ronny Graham

Cap'n Andy

Huntz Hall

Benny Bentson

Basil Hoffman

Frank Friedlander

Kevin McCarthy

Wes Vandergelder

John Megna

Al

Michael Richards

Sal

Ron Rifkin

TV Director

Joe Santos

Tony

Vincent Schiavelli

Skip Imperali

Fred Scialla

Richie DeSalvo

Frank Sivero

Bruno

Mark L. Taylor

Ken

George Wendt

Mr. Sweeney

Steve Allen

Steve Allen

Jayne Meadows

Jayne Meadows

Randi Brooks

Teresa

Cisse Cameron

Wendy

Gela Nash

Tamara

Candi Brough

Bambi

Randi Brough

Stacy

Army Archerd

Army Archerd

Allyce Beasley

Paisan Receptionist

Peter Brocco

Vic's Tailor

Robert Costanzo

Nunzo

Selma Diamond

Francine's Mother

Michael Ensign

Le Boeuf Maitre D'

Michael Gallup

Opera Singer

Jason Hervey

Todd Sweeney

Damon Hines

Woodrow T. Brown

Jerry Hoffman

Mr. Foley

Kenneth Kimmins

Network Spokesman

Bruce Kimmel

WACked Out Recruit

Katie La Bourdette

Le Boeuf Woman

Jeffrey Lampert

MBC Guard

Paul Larson

Julie

Russ Marin

Sid

Randall Miller

Car Attendant

Joey DePinto

Teamster Sailor

James Le Gros

Car Attendant

Susan Peretz

Network Receptionist

Bob Perlow

Warm-Up Comic

Hal Riddle

Dean

Jerry Seinfeld

Network Rep #1

Harvey Miller

Network Rep #2

Charlie Stavola

Cop #1

J. Alan Thomas

Cop #2

Lisle Wilson

Mr. Johnson

Lee Ving

Dawn Patrol

Nora Gaye

HOT BODS

Victoria Cooke

HOT BODS

Tracey Walter

Computron Investigator

Richard Kind

Steve

Vance Sanders

Mike

Alan Alda

Alan Alda (uncredited)