Keith Allen

Roy Brush

Peter Richardson

Kevin

Antony Sher

Scum Editor

Chris Hargreaves

Leslie

Nigel Planer

Club Chairman/Waiter

Paul Moriarty

Club Manager

Simon McBurney

Mick

Sara Stockbridge

Janet

Robert Carwithen

Terry

Phil Cornwell

Jimmy Twizzle/Wiggy

William Armstrong

Sports Presenter

Sandra Voe

Roy's Mother

Martha Ross

Leslie's Mother

Mark Caven

Dick Wibbly

David Cardy

Trevor Moulton

Gary Beadle

Wazza

Jimmy Fagg

Lift Man

Malcolm Hardee

Meat Trade Spokesman

Neville Watson

Punter in Hotel

Gavin Watson

Punter in Hotel

Tom Armstrong

Barman

Doon Mackichan

Nurse

Nicole Fitzpatrick

2nd Nurse

Fergus McLarnon

Doctor

Glen Colson

Ambulance Man

Jonathan Stratt

Doorman

Bill Russell

Recording Engineer

Mark Frankyln

DJ

Jonathan Pearce

Self - Commentator

Robert Borgars

Footballer

Pedro Romani

Footballer

Max Du Sautoy

Footballer

Ken Darlington

Footballer

Des Willie

Footballer

Will Dawes

Footballer

Ollie Munroe

Footballer

Terry Sue-Patt

Footballer

Tom Benson

Footballer

Lloyd Stanton

Footballer

Mark Jones

Footballer

Anthony Darlington

Footballer

Gavin Rossdale

Footballer

Steve Witchard

Footballer

Chris Wainwright

Footballer

John Dennis

Footballer

John Robinson

Footballer

Dan Caute

Footballer

Saltz

Footballer

Kit Line

Sponge Man

Andrée Bernard

Barbie

Simon Sanders

Smoking Doctor